My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We are two peas in an std pod
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
