the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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