oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
