Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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