then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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