Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize