True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
