Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
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used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
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As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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