he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
