my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
