So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
