Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
