I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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