JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
