There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
