Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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