420 ftw
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Damn victory sex feels great
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
