North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
