Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize