its not stalking. its research.
Say something about gay babies.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
