hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
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The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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