YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
