Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
