I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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