This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i black out too much to be "responsible"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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