i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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