used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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