Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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