there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize