I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
