I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
