if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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