How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
