Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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