the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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