Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
