well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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