I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
