you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
