fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
