If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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