areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
