He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
