i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FUCK WHALES
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
