I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
