I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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