I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
