Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im holly from the hills drunk
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything