Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave