You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.