New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it