At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize