shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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