Your dad touched me again.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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