My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
