my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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