I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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