Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize