i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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